If You Hand a Mommy the Telephone...

 I found this in a box of stuff the other day and it cracked me up.  I obviously wrote this after a crazy day (or probably an every day) with my boys.  It had to have been when I was expecting Ellie because the boys started taking art right before she was born.  Enjoy!

If you hand a Mommy the telephone before she gets out of bed in the morning she'll have a 5 minute conversation with a friend before she hears a screech in the living room.  She'll then remember she has 3 kids and get off the phone.  She'll go break up the fight and then notice one is following her around with an empty cup.  She'll go put some milk in the cup and realize there's almost no milk left.  So she sits down at the table to make a grocery list.  When she puts waffles on her list she'll remember no one has had breakfast yet so she'll make breakfast.  When she puts it on the table the kid who first asked for milk is done so she pours some more, which reminds her of the list.  When she writes down "m&m's", she'll remember she hasn't eaten breakfast :) so she fixes herself some.  Before she's halfway done the kids are through and running around with light sabers and one kid gets hurt.  While comforting the hurt one she notices that no one is dressed so she sends them to their room to get dressed and she heads for the shower.  Before she can turn on the shower, two are in the bathroom reminding her that they haven't had a bath in 5 days (not true!).  So they get in the bathtub and take a bath.  While getting their clean clothes out she sees the beds haven't been made and thinks she sure would like to climb back in hers.  To wake herself up she remembers she was going to take a shower.  She takes a shower and remembers she forgot to lock the door because she gets 6 or 7 visits from various kids who let in all the cold air.  This makes her think of the thermostat and reminds her she needs to pay the power bill.  While she looks for that she finds a picture one son drew and remembers to call about art lessons.  While on the phone 2 kids decide to make it snow and shred up all the tissues in the box.  After cleaning up the tissue mess she goes back to her list to write "tissues" and sees a note about the Post Office.  She sends the kids outside to play and finishes some packing so some boxes can be mailed.  She runs out of tape and goes upstairs to look for some.  While upstairs she sees the hammer her husband was looking for.  She takes it to the garage to put it in the toolbox.  While there she remembers the (Fisher Price) truck battery her son asked for so she takes it outside to put in their jeep.  While outside she'll see the two year old has somehow gotten all wet.  She'll bring him inside to change him.  After he's changed he notices his leftover breakfast and he has a few more bites before going back outside.  This will remind her she never finished her breakfast.  But right before she takes a bite the phone rings and it's her husband needing information from an old bank statement.  While in the closet looking for that file, she sees some clothes that need to be hung up so she begins to hang them up.  She finds a dirty shirt and takes it to the laundry room.  While there, she sees a pile of laundry and puts in a load.  She sees a chocolate milk stain on a shirt and once again remembers her breakfast.  But on her way to the table all three kids come in hungry for lunch.  Oh well.